eharmony
2 weeks ago
So, there I was, freshly swiped and slightly caffeinated, ready to embark on what my eHarmony profile assured me would be a “life-altering connection.” I’ll call him Dave (because why not?). We met at this hipster coffee shop in Brooklyn, which I was pretty convinced only existed to house artisanal avocado toast and overly detailed explanations of...
Coffee Meets Bagel
2 weeks ago
One chilly fall morning in New York City, I matched with someone on Coffee Meets Bagel who had a bio that read, "Looks like a librarian, parties like a piñata." Intrigued and mildly concerned for their safety, I decided to meet them for coffee at a cozy café in the Village. As soon as we sat down, the barista accidentally spilled a mocha latte all...
Coffee Meets Bagel
2 weeks ago
So, there I was, swiping on Tinder like it was a match-making arcade game. I stumbled upon a girl named Jenna, who seemed fun and a little quirky. Her bio read, “Fluent in sarcasm, obsessed with cats, and I've never seen a horror movie alone. Let’s keep it weird!” My kind of gal—I was sold. We agreed to meet at this hipster coffee shop in Williams...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
Jessica was quite taken with Tom's OkCupid profile. Not many could pull off discussing an interest in medieval architecture while quoting The Big Lebowski. Their chat was seamless until they dove into their mutual love for pets. "I absolutely adore my dachshund," Jessica typed, "what about you?" "Oh, I used to have a pet," Tom replied. "She wasn't...
General
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, I went on a date with a guy named Chad—yes, the ultimate “Chad.” He called himself an “entrepreneur,” which I later found out was code for “I sell protein shakes on Instagram.” But hey, we all have our passions, right? We decided to meet at a trendy cafe known for its artisanal avocado toast. I a...
match
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, a woman named Clara decided to dip her toes into the murky waters of online dating. Swiping left on many a mismatched profile, she finally stumbled upon a strapping lad named Derek: charming, well-spoken, and a lover of long walks... in the woods. Feeling adventurous, Clara swiped right. The nex...
Tinder
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this girl on OkCupid named Mia, and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop in the East Village. I figured, how weird could it be? I arrived at the café wearing my best “I’ve got my life together” outfit, but all I could focus on was the guy sitting in the corner wearing a full dinosaur onesie, sipping a frappuccino. I chuckled to m...
match
2 weeks ago
**Title: Love in the Time of "Why Am I Here?"** So, let’s set the scene: I matched with a charming fella on Hinge who proclaimed himself a "worldly soul"—which I soon learned simply meant he had a gym membership in three neighborhoods and a well-practiced line about being "spontaneous." Our first date took place at a trendy bar that served overp...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So, picture this: I matched with a guy on Hinge named Carl. He had a killer smile and listed “amateur magician” as one of his hobbies. Honestly, I thought it’d be a low-pressure evening of bad jokes and awkward silences, and maybe a few magical tricks to break the ice. Spoiler alert: it was both a rom-com and a horror movie in the making. We met a...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So there I was, swiping through Hinge like it was a bagel shop menu on a Sunday morning. I landed on a guy named Mike who had a cute dog and a bio that read, “Avid hiker, pizza enthusiast, and cat whisperer.” I thought, “This dude sounds fun!” We matched, and it was on. After a few standard exchanges, Mike sent me a message: “What are three things...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, Liz swiped right on a guy named Mike who had an adorable puppy as his profile picture. Their chat was filled with witty banter and playful teasing, so naturally, she agreed to meet him at a local bar called "The Barking Dog." It was only fitting, considering the puppy. When Liz arrived, she was g...
eharmony
2 weeks ago
So there I was, completely ready to ditch my eHarmony date. We had been messaging for weeks, and while his profile said he was "an adventurous spirit," his last message about his obsession with collecting garden gnomes left me staring at my phone like I was trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. I almost texted him, "Hey, I think my avocados...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this girl named Rachel on OkCupid, and we decided to meet for drinks at a trendy bar in the East Village. I was feeling optimistic—her profile said she was into hiking, art, and “spontaneous adventures.” I figured I’d focus on keeping the conversation light and funny. I arrive a little early, spotting Rachel as she walks in. She...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So there I was, on a Hinge date with a guy who seemed normal enough—let’s call him “Steve.” We met at a trendy bar in Brooklyn, and things started off well. We were engaged in witty banter, talking about everything from our favorite pizza spots to our most embarrassing moments. But then it took a bizarre turn. Out of nowhere, Steve pulls out a gia...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
So, there I was, swiping away on OkCupid like a caffeinated raccoon rummaging through a trash can. I matched with a guy named "ScaryLarry" (not his real name, but it could’ve been). We exchanged pleasantries, and he seemed normal enough—until he invited me to a “dark and stormy” themed dinner. My curiosity got the best of me, and I agreed, thinkin...