So, there I was, swiping on Tinder like it was a match-making arcade game. I stumbled upon a girl named Jenna, who seemed fun and a little quirky. Her bio read, “Fluent in sarcasm, obsessed with cats, and I've never seen a horror movie alone. Let’s keep it weird!” My kind of gal—I was sold. We agreed to meet at this hipster coffee shop in Williamsburg that served avocado toast with a side of existential dread. I arrived, and as I scanned the room for Jenna, I spotted her immediately. She had a head of rainbow hair, a nose ring shaped like a lightning bolt, and was wearing a shirt that said "Cats are my spirit animal." Charming, right? After the usual small talk about how overpriced the avocado toast was, I decided to make my move and compliment her T-shirt. "So, you really love cats, huh?" Suddenly, Jenna’s eyes sparkled with a creepy intensity. “Love them? I have 17 cats! You have no idea how much they mean to me. They’re my babies. I even have a shrine to them at home!” I chuckled nervously. “A shrine? Like, uh… what does that look like?” With a grin that was too wide for comfort, she replied, “Oh, it’s magical! Photos, candles, a little cat fountain made out of my ex-boyfriend’s chew toy. Want to see?” Before I could process