So, I matched with this girl named Rachel on OkCupid, and we decided to meet for drinks at a trendy bar in the East Village. I was feeling optimistic—her profile said she was into hiking, art, and “spontaneous adventures.” I figured I’d focus on keeping the conversation light and funny. I arrive a little early, spotting Rachel as she walks in. She’s cute, but the moment she sidesteps towards me, I can’t help but notice she’s wearing shoes that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie. I mean, they were futuristic, shiny, and had lights that flash every time she took a step. It was like she was walking around in a rave at a NASA space camp. After exchanging awkward pleasantries, we sit down and start talking about our interests. I decide to share my latest "adventure"—a failed attempt to assemble IKEA furniture alone. “That sounds kind of sad,” she replies, biting her lip, trying to stifle a laugh. Ah, off to a great start! I start to sweat a little and switch topics. “So, tell me about your hiking trips?” Rachel suddenly lights up. “Oh, I recently hiked the Appalachian Trail!” Thinking I need to impress her, I nod enthusiastically. “I love hiking too! I once climbed a flight of stairs to my subway!” She raises an eyebrow. "Really? How high was it?" I realize my “accomplishment” doesn