eharmony
2 weeks ago
I was scrolling through eHarmony one night, my pajama pants rivaling a shark suit in sophistication, when I stumbled upon a profile that felt like déjà vu in text form. The username was "UncannyDanny76," which I assumed was just a clever rhyme until I read his profile. His details eerily mirrored my own: same favorite band (The Rolling Stones), sam...
General
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this girl named Sarah on OkCupid. Her profile was quirky—lots of puns about doughnuts and a four-part haiku dedicated to her cat, Mr. Whiskers. We decided to meet at a quaint little café in Brooklyn that was known for its “just-out-of-the-oven” pastries. I arrived first and was greeted by the intoxicating scent of freshly baked...
match
2 weeks ago
I swiped right on Match and there she was: Sophia, a bio that read “Loves dogs, hates olives, can’t wink.” Clearly, a keeper. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop nestled in the heart of the East Village, where the air smells like ambition and burnt espresso. I arrived first, nervously sipping on my overpriced cold brew while pretending to be deeply...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with a girl named Lisa on Hinge. Her profile said she loved quirky coffee shops and haunted house tours—immediately, I was hooked. After some back-and-forth banter that was as smooth as a New York City pothole, we decided to meet up at a cute little café in the East Village. As I walked in, I spotted her at a corner table, sipping a...
eharmony
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling city of New York, a woman named Lucy decided to dip her toes into the murky waters of online dating. After completing a lengthy personality questionnaire and assuring a robot that she was, indeed, “fun-loving and adventurous,” she received a match with a man named Greg on eHarmony. Greg’s profile was a delightful m...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So I matched with this guy on Hinge who seemed like he was crafted from debugged boyfriend material — adorable smile, solid job, and a love for dogs that rivaled every pet rescue volunteer in Manhattan. His profile was all about hiking, brunching, and being an overall gentleman; you know, the kind of profile that makes you wonder if it's too good t...
Coffee Meets Bagel
2 weeks ago
It's been a few months now, and I still think about it, lying awake at night, staring at the water stain on my ceiling that resembles Idaho—big and kinda pointless. Her name was Emma, a name as classic as New York bagels on a Sunday morning. Our chat was bubbling like that third espresso shot I should've skipped. We bonded over our love for dogs,...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
There I was, swiping through OkCupid like a New Yorker trying to find a decent slice of pizza—equally desperate and discerning. I matched with a woman whose profile said she loved cats, Broadway shows, and deep discussions about philosophy. Perfect! I thought. We agreed to meet up at a cozy coffee shop in Greenwich Village. I walked in to see her...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So, there I was, scrolling through Hinge like it was my favorite deli menu, when I matched with a guy who looked like he had just stepped off the set of a horror movie – you know, the "final girl" vibes. We exchanged a couple of witty messages, and everything seemed fine until he decided to invite me to a “special dinner.” I was intrigued, thinki...
General
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, I went on a date with a guy named Chad—yes, the ultimate “Chad.” He called himself an “entrepreneur,” which I later found out was code for “I sell protein shakes on Instagram.” But hey, we all have our passions, right? We decided to meet at a trendy cafe known for its artisanal avocado toast. I a...
match
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, Sarah swiped right on a guy named Dave who had a charming smile and a peculiar bio that read, “Professional goat whisperer.” Intrigued and slightly amused, she set up a date at a hipster café famous for its artisanal avocado toast. As they sat down, Sarah couldn’t shake the feeling that something...
Coffee Meets Bagel
2 weeks ago
Subject: "Let’s Make This a Match Made in Bagel Heaven!" Hey there! 🎉 I know we just started chatting, but I can already tell you’re the type of person I can see myself sharing a dozen bagels with. Nothing says romance like carbs, am I right? 😉 So, how about we grab some coffee and a bite to eat soon? Just the two of us! I promise I’m way more...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So there I was, on a Hinge date with a guy who seemed normal enough—let’s call him “Steve.” We met at a trendy bar in Brooklyn, and things started off well. We were engaged in witty banter, talking about everything from our favorite pizza spots to our most embarrassing moments. But then it took a bizarre turn. Out of nowhere, Steve pulls out a gia...
Tinder
2 weeks ago
**Review of My Hinge Date with “The Player”** ⭐️☆☆☆☆☆ Ah, where do I begin? My date with "The Player" was like watching a rom-com directed by a toddler who ran out of crayons halfway through. First off, he arrived 15 minutes late and claimed that “traffic was insane,” which for a Tuesday night in Brooklyn meant he probably just couldn’t decid...
2 weeks ago
Jenny had been chatting with Tom on Facebook for a few weeks. Both shared a love for books, a dislike for pineapple on pizza, and an appreciation for sarcastic humor. Eventually, they decided to meet up at "Books & Brews," a cozy little café that conveniently catered to both their passions. As Jenny walked in, she spotted Tom at a corner table, oc...