**Review of My Hinge Date with “The Player”** ⭐️☆☆☆☆☆ Ah, where do I begin? My date with "The Player" was like watching a rom-com directed by a toddler who ran out of crayons halfway through. First off, he arrived 15 minutes late and claimed that “traffic was insane,” which for a Tuesday night in Brooklyn meant he probably just couldn’t decide which gel he wanted to use in his hair. Really, what was his plan—wait for the gel to dry before heading out? We sat down, and he immediately started bragging about his “skills” on Tinder. Not to brag, but at this point, I was basically a contestant on The Bachelor, waiting for my roses. Spoiler alert: I didn’t get one. Apparently, he has “the best pickup lines,” which he proceeded to demonstrate. “Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears!” Wow, that’s just the kind of spell I need in my life—one that makes me forget I still have to pay for my own drinks. He also described his “tech startup” with the same enthusiasm one might reserve for a new diet fad. Of course, his startup was “in the works,” aka he was still figuring out how to turn on his laptop without calling for backup. I think I saw him Googling “how to take the elevator to the next floor” at one point. Things took a turn