So, I matched with this girl named Sarah on OkCupid. Her profile was quirky—lots of puns about doughnuts and a four-part haiku dedicated to her cat, Mr. Whiskers. We decided to meet at a quaint little café in Brooklyn that was known for its “just-out-of-the-oven” pastries. I arrived first and was greeted by the intoxicating scent of freshly baked croissants. As I waited, I took the time to mentally prepare my best—and might I say, absolutely flawless—doughnut puns for when Sarah arrived. When she walked in, she wore a beanie that said “Baker in Training” and an apron over her clothes. Before I could say, “Hey there, sweet roll,” she pulled a plastic bag out of her backpack and said, “I brought you a little something!” I was expecting a thoughtful gift—maybe a cat-themed trinket or some artisanal chocolate. Nope! She pulled out a half-eaten box of weird artisanal doughnuts she had bought from a completely different café. “They were giving them away for free because they were ‘day-old’!” Before I could form a polite smile, she leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “I also saved the remnants of my last date for you!” With a flick of her wrist, she produced a small, crumpled up takeout container. “It’s only leftover sushi!” I blinked. I thought we were here