So, I matched with a girl named Lisa on Hinge. Her profile said she loved quirky coffee shops and haunted house tours—immediately, I was hooked. After some back-and-forth banter that was as smooth as a New York City pothole, we decided to meet up at a cute little café in the East Village. As I walked in, I spotted her at a corner table, sipping a matcha latte that was somehow both green and mystical. But before I even got to say hello, the barista—who was inexplicably wearing a shirt that said “I like my coffee like my men: strong and slightly haunted”—starts chatting with us. Turns out, he and Lisa went to the same high school…and he’s her ex-boyfriend. Ah, the joys of dating in a small city. We laughed it off, ordered our drinks, and decided to go on a little ghost tour afterward. As fate would have it, the tour guide was also someone Lisa knew: her college roommate’s boyfriend, who once borrowed her favorite sweater and never returned it. The guy starts cracking jokes, completely oblivious to the tension, and I can’t help but think, "Are we on a date or a sitcom episode?" Just when I thought things couldn't get weirder, during the tour, we stumble upon a ghostly apparition of a long-dead flapper (or maybe just an extra from the latest indie film). Lisa's eyes light up, and she