So, I matched with a guy named Greg on OkCupid. His profile was a medley of quirky interests—he described himself as a “professional cat wrangler” and listed “cryptozoology” as his number one passion. Naturally, I was intrigued and a little terrified, so I agreed to meet him at a bar in the East Village that specialized in craft beers and artisanal pickles (because, New York). We met at 7 PM; he showed up wearing a fedora and cargo shorts, which is a bold combo for a chilly October evening. As we chatted, he told me about his “feline philosophy.” Apparently, he believed that cats were ancient aliens sent to observe human behavior. I nodded along, thinking, “At least he didn’t say lizard people.” The night progressed, and just when I thought I’d heard it all, he whipped out his phone to show me pictures of his "cat-wrangling" adventures. This involved him dressing his house cat in various costumes, from a tiny chef to a miniature astronaut, all while he was painstakingly trying to negotiate a better deal on cat food. I was trying to hold back laughter when he leaned in and said, “Want to see the video of me trying to teach my cat to play fetch?” He proceeded to pull up what can only be described as a reality TV audition tape of him and his bemused cat. The cat clearly had no idea what was happening and was plotting