So, I’m swiping on General, trying to find someone who can appreciate my love for overpriced coffee and unsolicited sarcasm. I match with this guy, let’s call him “Dave,” who has a profile picture that looks like it was taken at a 2009 Comic-Con—complete with a homemade Yoda costume. I think, why not? Everyone deserves a chance, right? We start chatting, and things are going pretty well until Dave asks if I believe in “spiritual connections.” I’m ready to roll my eyes, but hey, I went to art school, so I nod dramatically over text. That’s when he drops the bomb: he wants to perform a “mind meld” over video call. Now, I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know that "mind meld" sounds shady and involves either a psychic experience or me waking up in his basement surrounded by action figures. I politely refuse and suggest we just stick to normal conversation. He insists, “But I just need to know your essence.” At this point, I’m at a crossroads: do I run for the hills or play it cool? I tell him to just “vibe” with me through the screen. I can feel the digital tension as he types, “Bring your crystals.” Uhm, buddy, I can barely keep track of my keys! We end up in this awkward back-and-forth where he’s convinced that he can channel my energy. I’m sitting