Hinge
2 weeks ago
So there I was, swiping through Hinge like it was a bagel shop menu on a Sunday morning. I landed on a guy named Mike who had a cute dog and a bio that read, “Avid hiker, pizza enthusiast, and cat whisperer.” I thought, “This dude sounds fun!” We matched, and it was on. After a few standard exchanges, Mike sent me a message: “What are three things...
eharmony
2 weeks ago
So there I was, completely ready to ditch my eHarmony date. We had been messaging for weeks, and while his profile said he was "an adventurous spirit," his last message about his obsession with collecting garden gnomes left me staring at my phone like I was trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. I almost texted him, "Hey, I think my avocados...
Tinder
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this guy on Tinder who described himself as “the human version of a double shot espresso.” I thought, great, a caffeinated hipster—I could use the jolt! We agreed to meet at a quaint little coffee shop that smelled like a combination of artisanal roasts and poorly concealed desperation. As we sat down, he got all excited and ord...
Tinder
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this guy on Tinder who seemed charming enough. His profile picture was him standing in front of an iconic New York City pizza joint, which—let’s be real—had me at "extra cheese." After a few days of messaging, we decided to meet up at a bar that advertised “the best cocktails in the city.” I told myself not to roll my eyes, but...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
So, I met this guy on OkCupid. His profile was like a well-written rom-com script: "I love dogs, brunch, and spontaneous road trips!" Classic. We start messaging, and within hours, it felt like we had an inside joke about only eating pizza in dimensions where pineapple was illegal. We decided to meet up at a trendy coffee shop — you know, the kin...
OkCupid
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, Liz swiped right on a guy named Mike who had an adorable puppy as his profile picture. Their chat was filled with witty banter and playful teasing, so naturally, she agreed to meet him at a local bar called "The Barking Dog." It was only fitting, considering the puppy. When Liz arrived, she was g...
eharmony
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling city of New York, a woman named Lucy decided to dip her toes into the murky waters of online dating. After completing a lengthy personality questionnaire and assuring a robot that she was, indeed, “fun-loving and adventurous,” she received a match with a man named Greg on eHarmony. Greg’s profile was a delightful m...
General
2 weeks ago
So, I’m swiping on General, trying to find someone who can appreciate my love for overpriced coffee and unsolicited sarcasm. I match with this guy, let’s call him “Dave,” who has a profile picture that looks like it was taken at a 2009 Comic-Con—complete with a homemade Yoda costume. I think, why not? Everyone deserves a chance, right? We start...
Tinder
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this girl on OkCupid named Mia, and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop in the East Village. I figured, how weird could it be? I arrived at the café wearing my best “I’ve got my life together” outfit, but all I could focus on was the guy sitting in the corner wearing a full dinosaur onesie, sipping a frappuccino. I chuckled to m...
match
2 weeks ago
*Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, a savvy woman named Claire swiped right on a charming profile that boasted a love for gourmet cooking and “thrilling conversations.” His name was Derek, and his profile picture featured him looking dapper with a mustache that practically had its own Instagram account.* *Eager for a date, Claire...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
So, I matched with this guy on Hinge who had a pretty run-of-the-mill profile—just a little adventurous, a little artsy, and a lot “my mom thinks I’m a catch.” We chatted about our love for pizza and dogs, and I thought, "Why not? Let’s grab a slice!" We met at this cozy pizzeria in Brooklyn, where the only slice creepier than the guy was the mozz...
match
2 weeks ago
Once upon a time in the bustling heart of Brooklyn, Sarah swiped right on a guy named Dave who had a charming smile and a peculiar bio that read, “Professional goat whisperer.” Intrigued and slightly amused, she set up a date at a hipster café famous for its artisanal avocado toast. As they sat down, Sarah couldn’t shake the feeling that something...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
Title: "A Heartwarming Journey Through the World of Red Flags" Ah, where do I even start with my enchanting evening spent with Mr. Smooth Operator? At first glance, he had the magnetic charm of a used car salesman – you know, the kind that makes you think, "Wow, this is either a brilliant find or I'm about to get scammed." Spoiler: it was the latt...
Hinge
2 weeks ago
**Title: A Night to Forget…Except I’m Writing This Review** So, I recently went on a magical evening with a true modern-day Casanova, courtesy of Hinge. You know, one of those rare gems who truly believes that "relationship" is just a suggestion and "Rendezvous" is the only thing on his dating agenda. Spoiler alert: he was about as committed as a...