So, there I am on OkCupid, scrolling through profiles like I'm flipping through a magazine, when I come across "JazzLover42." He's cute, likes classic films, and knows his way around a comma—a rare trifecta in online dating. We chat, exchange a few dad jokes, and decide to meet up for coffee. Now, my only hesitation came from an unusual hobby listed in his profile—collecting vintage mannequins. At first, I thought, "Quirky, but harmless." I mean, sure, everyone in New York is a little odd, right? I pictured a couple of mannequins in a hipster-chic loft, wearing old-timey hats. What could possibly go wrong? Fast forward to date day. We meet at a cozy, jazz-infused café downtown. All is going well; we're exchanging banter like pros. I'm halfway through my cold brew when he casually mentions, "You know, I named one of my mannequins after my ex." I laugh awkwardly, trying to hide the alarm bells going off like the express train at rush hour. Later, he invites me over for dinner. I reluctantly agree, intrigued or perhaps just too polite to decline. In his apartment, the reality of his "collection" sinks in. It's like being in an indie horror film—mannequins galore, each one dressed more stylishly than your average Upper East Sider. There’s one in the corner with a