So there I was on this dating app, swiping left and right like a blackjack dealer in Atlantic City, when I matched with a charming guy named Todd. Todd had one of those profiles that made you wonder if he moonlit as a poet or just had a really good grasp of Google Translate. Our conversation started off pretty basic: "Hey, how's your day?"—you know, the kind of chat that makes you wish you'd just stayed home and watched Netflix alone. But then things took a wild turn when Todd mentioned he was really into geology. "Ever felt the ground shake?" he asked, with a wink emoji. Classic. I replied, "Only at the subway station on 14th Street." "LOL," he responded, though I'm sure that wasn’t his actual laugh. Then he asked if I’d like to meet him in Central Park for a "geological adventure," which is the sexiest way anyone’s ever proposed looking at rocks. Fast forward to Saturday, and I’m trudging through Central Park with this guy, thinking we'll be looking at sediment layers or whatever. Instead, Todd pulls out a metal detector. Turns out, "geology" was a strange way to say he’s a treasure hunter enthusiast. After about ten minutes of awkward beeping and more awkward small talk, I heard a loud buzz. Todd excitedly dug like a caffeinated squirrel and, to both our surprise, unearthed something shiny. At first, I thought the park had