So, I matched with this guy on eHarmony who seemed nice enough. He had a solid job, a cute dog in his profile picture, and a love for sushi—always a good sign. We agreed to meet at a sushi restaurant in the East Village, where I thought, “What could possibly go wrong? It’s just sushi!” I arrive and he’s already there, looking a bit... off. I realize he’s wearing a full-on karate gi. I mean, I love commitment, but this is not what I signed up for. Turns out, he had just finished a karate class and wanted to show off his “sensei style.” I was trying my best not to laugh as he confidently (and very loudly) ordered, “I’ll take the California rolls... with extra chopstick action!” As the night went on, he kept trying to demonstrate karate moves every time he picked up a sushi roll. “This is how you properly ‘execute’ this spicy tuna!” He shouted, and I’m sitting there, giggling, as he accidentally flung a piece of tuna across the table—landing it right on the nose of a poor unsuspecting waiter. To make matters worse, he got really into describing how sushi was like “the perfect kata” and tried to convince me that eating sushi while doing karate forms was a whole thing. I’m sitting there, half-eating, half-douging under the table to avoid the flying fish. By the end of the