So, I matched with this guy named "Ethan" on Coffee Meets Bagel—right off the bat, he had the classic smirk and a profile that read “Adventurer seeking my next big thrill.” I thought, great, a fellow New Yorker with a love for the outdoors. We decided to meet up at this cute little café in the East Village. I arrived early, ironically sipping my cold brew like I was prepping for battle. He walked in a little late, wearing a camo jacket and cargo pants, which set off my “is he about to hunt me?” alarm, but I brushed it off. I’m a big girl; I can handle a little style choice wilderness. As we started chatting, there was a gradual descent into the bizarre. First, he told me about his “life philosophy,” which ended with, “And that’s why I have a jar of teeth at home.” Yes, you read that right. Before I could even process that, he whipped out his phone and showed me a picture—a detailed shot of his collection. “Each one tells a story,” he explained enthusiastically. I tried to smile politely as his eyes sparkled with glee, thinking he was about to reveal the plot of a horror movie. “Do you want to see my favorite?” he asked, already scrolling. I could see my escape route across the room, but I didn’t want to offend him—turns out, that was a bigger